3 Reasons We Are Unable to Accept Reality

What is really behind our need to control?

Julie Lynn


Photo by Ellen Qin on Unsplash

“Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender”

~ Eckhart Tolle

Reality sucks sometimes. Things don’t go as planned. People don’t do what we want them to. Our hopes and dreams go up in smoke, as we stare at the smoldering ashes.

The most peaceful path to take when things don’t go our way is to accept reality, process our emotions, and move forward.

But often, that isn’t what happens. Often, we fight reality instead of accepting it.

We try to cajole and change things or people into what we want them to be.

Persistence is a good quality to have. But living in a perpetual state of denial is not.

When you live in a perpetual state of denial, where you are trying to force things that are not meant to be and are refusing to accept things the way they are, you live in a state of anger and anxiety.

When you can accept a situation, even if you do not like it, you can achieve peace.

Here are three key reasons that contribute to our inability to accept reality.

We Have Externalized All of Our Happiness

We can think of happiness like a pie, with many different slices. The slices can represent our career, our hobbies, our relationships, our children, etc. Our happiness comes from a blend of all the slices.

Some of the slices to our happiness pie may be bigger than others, but there is not one slice that makes up the entire pie.

And since we do not put the weight of all our happiness into one slice, we can remain happy even if one slice of our pie isn’t going so well.

Of course, we cannot expect to always be happy, and if we are going through a difficult time or are facing a major issue, such as a break-up or a health crisis, we are going to experience negative emotions.

But if we are in the habit of making ourselves happy in a variety of ways, it will be…