Instead of Getting Angry, Get Curious
Our emotions are our greatest teachers.
Getting emotionally triggered is not an enjoyable experience, as it can release an onslaught of negative emotions, including anger. And though it is reasonable to experience anger when someone does something hurtful, anger is often a secondary emotion.
This means that instead of feeling the primary emotion, which is typically shame or grief, we jump to anger.
On the scale of emotions, shame is the worst emotion to feel, and grief is right alongside shame.
But anger feels a little better. Anger can make us feel powerful. Anger can make us feel righteous. Anger can help us avoid feelings of shame and grief, which are more painful to feel.
Anger is a valid emotion. It tells us when our boundaries have been violated or when an injustice has occurred.
But anger is also a signal that we have unhealed wounds and unresolved pain. It is a sign that we have inner work to do to process through issues we are unaware of or that we have been avoiding.
The thing about triggers, is that we can only be triggered if there is something there to trigger.
And that something is an unhealed wound.
