Are You the Healed or Unhealed Version of You?

Sometimes you can tell by simply looking around you.

Julie Lynn
3 min readMay 14, 2021
Photo by Jeffery Erhunse on Unsplash

I saw a meme the other day that said:

“The people you lose during your healing process are only meant to be with the unhealed version of you.”

Losing certain relationships can be difficult, but it is a key sign of growth.

This applies in any type of relationship, but especially to romantic relationships.

It is possible to hide aspects of ourselves from friends and acquaintances. But in a romantic relationship, we can only hide for so long before everything comes out.

Our romantic partners are our mirrors, and they trigger our deepest wounds.

Toxic people are unhealed people who use destructive and maladaptive coping mechanisms to avoid doing the internal work necessary to heal their wounds. These destructive and maladaptive coping mechanisms are harmful to themselves and to other people.

And if you are in a relationship with a toxic person, it is because you are also unhealed. You also have destructive and maladaptive coping mechanisms.